Growing Up with Emotionally Immature Parents: Part 2 - Adult Manifestations
The journey of healing from emotionally immature parenting is rarely linear, but with commitment and support, those who grew up with emotionally immature parents can develop the emotional intelligence, self-compassion, and relational skills that create a more fulfilling adult life—one that honors both their past struggles and their future possibilities.
Meeting the Child Parts That Learned to Parent Themselves: An IFS Perspective on Growing Up Too Soon
If you grew up as the child of emotionally immature parents, there's a good chance you became an expert at managing other people's emotions before you learned to tend to your own. Perhaps you were the mediator, the caretaker, the one who could read the room and adjust yourself accordingly. You may have been praised for being "so mature" or "easy" or "independent."
But inside, a younger part of you was working overtime—learning to parent yourself because the adults around you couldn't.
Why You Keep Seeking Your Parents' Approval: Understanding Exiled Parts Through an IFS Lens
You may still have moments of wanting your parents' approval—that's human. But you won't be driven by that want. Your worth won't hinge on whether they finally show up. You'll have retrieved the part that was waiting in the past and brought it into a present where it is finally, truly seen.
The love you needed was real. The fact that your parents couldn't provide it was real. And the capacity for your Self to offer a different kind of healing to your exiled parts—that's real too. You don't have to keep seeking what they can't give. You can turn toward the young part within you and offer what it has always deserved.
An Exciting Announcement!
Join us August 29, 2025 for a masterclass on using IFS to treat adult children of emotionally immature or otherwise misattuned parenting!