Meeting the Child Parts That Learned to Parent Themselves: An IFS Perspective on Growing Up Too Soon
If you grew up as the child of emotionally immature parents, there's a good chance you became an expert at managing other people's emotions before you learned to tend to your own. Perhaps you were the mediator, the caretaker, the one who could read the room and adjust yourself accordingly. You may have been praised for being "so mature" or "easy" or "independent."
But inside, a younger part of you was working overtime—learning to parent yourself because the adults around you couldn't.
When Your Parts Are in Conflict About COVID Precautions: Using IFS to Find Internal Alignment
If you're still taking COVID precautions in 2025, you've likely experienced intense internal conflict. One part of you desperately wants to attend that wedding, hug your friends, or eat inside a restaurant. Another part feels terror at the thought, scanning for risk and pulling you back to safety. These warring parts can leave you feeling paralyzed, exhausted, and disconnected from your sense of Self.
Why You Keep Seeking Your Parents' Approval: Understanding Exiled Parts Through an IFS Lens
You may still have moments of wanting your parents' approval—that's human. But you won't be driven by that want. Your worth won't hinge on whether they finally show up. You'll have retrieved the part that was waiting in the past and brought it into a present where it is finally, truly seen.
The love you needed was real. The fact that your parents couldn't provide it was real. And the capacity for your Self to offer a different kind of healing to your exiled parts—that's real too. You don't have to keep seeking what they can't give. You can turn toward the young part within you and offer what it has always deserved.
Understanding the Lasting Impact of Emotionally Immature Parents
Growing up with emotionally immature parents can leave deep, lasting impressions that extend far into adulthood. Many adults find themselves struggling with relationship patterns, self-worth issues, and emotional regulation without fully understanding the roots of these challenges. If you're reading this and wondering whether your childhood experiences with emotionally immature caregivers might be affecting your life today, you're not alone—and more importantly, healing is possible.
Understanding Parental Entitlement: When Authority Becomes Ownership
Parental entitlement refers to a parenting approach where the parent assumes authority over their child's thoughts, feelings, and choices, often without consideration for the child's developing autonomy or individual needs.
Mental Health Support That Speaks Your Language: Therapy for Equestrians
One of the most healing aspects of working with a therapist who understands the equestrian world is that you can bring your whole self into the therapy room. You don't have to minimize your passion, defend your choices, or explain why your horse means so much to you. Instead, we can explore how your relationship with horses reflects and impacts other areas of your life.
An Exciting Announcement!
Join us August 29, 2025 for a masterclass on using IFS to treat adult children of emotionally immature or otherwise misattuned parenting!
Choosing to Be a Good Ancestor Over a Good Descendant
Being a good ancestor versus good descendant means fundamentally shifting where you place your energy and loyalty. It means focusing on the wellbeing of your children, sometimes at the sacrifice of your parents’ comfort.
Breaking the Cycle: Why No Contact is Self-Care, Not Selfishness
The phrase "they did their best" has become a shield that older generations use to avoid accountability. But doing your best isn't the same as doing well, and it certainly doesn't erase the harm caused.
Breaking the Cycle: Parenting After Being Raised by Emotionally Immature Parents
Perhaps the most powerful aspect of parenting after emotional immaturity is the opportunity to transform family legacy. What begins as a fear of repetition can become a profound journey of healing that extends beyond a single generation.
The Shadow of Childhood: How Emotionally Immature Parents Shape Adult Romantic Relationships
While the impact of emotionally immature parenting on romantic relationships runs deep, it need not be deterministic. With awareness, support, and intentional practice, new neural pathways can be formed. The very relationships that trigger old wounds can become the context for profound healing, as adults learn to give and receive the emotional attunement they missed in childhood.
A Safe Haven for the COVID-Conscious: Our Commitment to Your Physical and Mental Wellbeing
In a world eager to move beyond pandemic concerns, many individuals continue to prioritize COVID safety in their daily lives—and with good reason. At Perceptive Insights Psychological Services (PIPS), we recognize and respect that ongoing COVID caution is a valid health choice, not an overreaction or anxiety response. We're proud to offer a therapeutic environment where your physical safety concerns are taken seriously alongside your mental health needs.
Growing Up with Emotionally Immature Parents: The Hidden Impact
With awareness, support, and intentional work, the legacy of emotional immaturity can be transformed into emotional wisdom that benefits future generations.
Schrödinger's Douchebag: When Jokes Are Both Serious and Not
Schrödinger's douchebag refers to a person who makes offensive statements, then decides whether they were joking based on the reaction of people around them.
The Childfree Choice: How to Respond When a Loved One Tells You They’re Childfree
When a close friend or family member shares that they don't want children, it's natural to feel surprised or even disappointed if you had hoped they would become a parent. However, it's important to respond with empathy and avoid pressuring them to change their mind.
Breaking Free from People Pleasing: Putting Yourself First
Breaking the people-pleasing habit is a journey, not an overnight change. The goal isn't to become selfish or inconsiderate. Rather, it's about creating a life where your needs and wants are given equal importance to those of others. By doing so, you'll cultivate more authentic relationships and a stronger sense of self.
Setting Healthy Boundaries and Managing Expectations: Keys to Mental Wellbeing
By setting healthy boundaries and managing expectations, you create a foundation for better mental health and more fulfilling relationships. It's a skill that takes practice, but the benefits to your wellbeing are immeasurable.
Breaking the Stigma: Common Myths About Mental Illness Debunked
By debunking the myths surrounding mental health, we can foster a more understanding and supportive society for those dealing with mental health challenges. Remember, mental health is just as important as physical health, and seeking help is a courageous step towards wellbeing.
The Dunning-Kruger Effect: Why Incompetence Breeds Confidence
Understanding the Dunning-Kruger effect can help us navigate a world where confidence doesn't always equate to competence.